Who will go? Who will go?

"I'm too busy."
"I need to step down from leadership."
"I don't have time."
"She has a crazy packed semester."
"I broke down twice this week because I'm so stressed."

These are just a few of the phrases I've heard way too many times in way too many different forms this semester.

Now, I understand that even the hardest-working, most organized folks can have a lot on their plate.  Believe me, as a recovering perfectionist who is often tempted to place her worth in what she produces instead of God, I know what it's like.  Of course, I definitely value and support students being diligent in their academics and well-rounded in their activities outside of school as well.  In fact, I believe because God is Lord over all creation and made us in His image as humans who create, build, analyze, and imagine, we should be impelled to learn about His creation and His work as much as possible.

At the same time, the fact that so many students say this worries me.  One reason is because even though all of the above phrases seem similar, they can actually be interpreted in a few different ways:

A) "I don't know how to manage my time well, and so I actually end up wasting a lot of it and try to get by with doing the minimum."

B) "I am saying yes to everything and have taken on more commitments than is humanly possible."

C) "I don't know how to work diligently and then trust the Lord as I rest," or, "I don't make resting as a priority."

D)  "I actually just don't like the changes that have been made or InterVarsity just doesn't meet my needs anymore, so I just don't want to come anymore but don't want to say that directly to your face in case it hurts your feelings."

Or, it could actually indicate that this student really does have a significant amount of work that even if you cut everything unnecessary out, would still take up a lot of time.  But it's hard to differentiate between these students and the ones listed above, because they can all be expressed the same way.

The other reason why this worries me is because the resulting consequences often means two things:

1) All of the students who are committed to serving, manage their time well, and don't over-commit end up getting burnt out because now they're taking on what others do not step in to do.

2) It's usually an indicator that students are more focused on structures, tasks, and their own wants that they have lost sight of the vision and/or lost sight of who God is and what His purposes in the world are.

I believe these are two seemingly innocent but dangerous things that the Enemy uses to paralyze students from participating in the great work God is doing on campus.

Right now, less than 1% of RIT's campus is being reached by all of the Christian groups combined.  That means there are still thousands of RIT students who potentially have not heard the good news Jesus brings.  The question that keeps popping into my head is, if the Christ-following students will not go, who will?

Fresh perspective.

There are many ways I like to pray, but prayer walking is not one of them.

You'd think because of my sensory preferences of information gathering and tendency towards the kinesthetic learning style, that I'd enjoy it very much.  Walking, going, and being at the locations of sources of prayer seem like it'd spark a lot of creative and interesting ways to pray as opposed to sitting in a circle in a room with people holding hands.

And it's true.

I've discovered that it's prayer walking in groups that I don't like.  The prayer walks I've experienced in groups involved confusion around where to walk or which way to walk; the awkwardness of praying out loud so that the people you pass along the way give you strange looks; and not being able to hear someone's prayer, just for a few examples.

God finally nudged me hard enough to take a prayer walk on campus that I had been putting off all summer.

Fine, I said, but I'm going by myself.

And God replied, When did I say you had to go with anyone?  I simply said to go.

Oh.  I guess that's right.

So I went.

God's big nudge had come at a time where I was really frustrated with students for not doing things excellently, with myself for not being able to coach them or lead them well, and with the lack of fruit I was expecting and hoping to see after a few years of hard work.  I was at a breaking point, and knew I needed to do something to empty me of myself and be filled with compassion for RIT.

I committed an hour of my time on campus.  I simply wandered around a part of campus, stopping every once in a while to write down what I observed and what I heard.  Towards the end of that hour I used the contents of this list as springboards for prayer. 

I've only done this prayer walk once so far.  It wasn't an earth-shattering event, but it felt like it was groundbreaking for my hardening heart.  There were no evangelistic moments or divine appointments, but my obedience out of the desire to meet with the Lord created a shift in my posture.  There were no revelations or inspired images, but there were small, new discoveries of things I thought I knew.

Like bubble tea in The Market.  Or that there's a second floor of Global Village where the Study Abroad office is.

God's nudging was for me to do this on a weekly basis, so I'm hoping to get into the habit of spending an hour each week for this kind of prayer walk, exploring a different part of campus.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

It's time to be strong and courageous.

I am not the kind of person you mistakenly label as a 'social butterfly.'  I tend to be quiet.  I usually prefer to process my thoughts inside my brain and be careful about the words I say before they come out of my mouth.  My energy tends to drain easily just by being around a bunch of people I don't know.  It's draining because meeting new people typically requires you to start with small talk, but I don't really care as much about the weather or what you studied or did for work today as I care about wanting to go deeper and learning your hopes, dreams, struggles, and opinions (which doesn't usually happen when you first meet someone).    

So when it comes to New Student Outreach events, where, as a staff worker, I'm trying to model for and mobilize my college students to reach out and talk to other college students who are new to campus and new to our group, you can imagine how difficult it may be for me.  A room full of strangers infested with small talk and the innate social demand for me to process my thoughts quickly so as to avoid awkward silences?  Not an ideal environment for me to thrive in.

But just as God and Moses and the Israelites call Joshua to be strong and courageous over and over and over again, God calls us to be strong and courageous to lead God's people into the kingdom of God.  God's mission is bigger than I or my discomfort could ever be.  

While I could have sat on the sidelines and leave all the mingling up to my students, I've pushed through my fears and discomfort and introduced myself to new people.  I've learned not to wait for the ideal opportunity - I need to ask for strength and courage from the Lord to take every opportunity I get and try to turn each one into the ideal.  I know that if I don't put myself out there to meet new people, then I am either denying myself the opportunity to partner with God in what He is doing in other people, and/or I'm denying other people the opportunity to hear about who Jesus is and why InterVarsity exists on campus.

So as the start of the year has been officially kicked off, I'm sure in addition to meeting new people, other fears and discomforts will surface when it comes to engaging in God's mission on campus or in my neighborhood.  But when it comes time to make a decision about how I will respond, the question I'm going to have to ask myself again and again will be:  am I going to let my fear and discomfort dictate my behavior, or will my faith in God's love and mission define the decisions on how I live my life?  

Go deep and cast the net wide.

Luke 5 is following me everywhere.  Well, not quite everywhere I guess.  But it's enough to get my attention.

Last Sunday, during our leadership meeting, two graduating seniors (and previous exec team leaders) from our chapter led a short manuscript, inductive Bible study of Luke 5.  They had studied the passage with the thousands of others at Urbana this year and wanted to cast vision to the core members and leaders of the chapter to take risks for the sake of the gospel.

It was clear that in the same way Jesus was calling Simon to follow Him, Jesus was calling us as a chapter to "put out into the deep" and "let down our nets."  Casting fishing nets in the deep part of the lake in the morning after fishing all night and catching nothing?  Come on, Jesus, seriously?  Apparently, Jesus was being serious.  He was calling Simon the same way He is calling us now to take risks of faith for Christ even when it may seem ridiculous at times.  He was calling Simon the way He is calling us now to reach out even when we've come up empty before.  He was calling Simon the way He is calling us now to take action when we're tired and have already started washing our nets.

The questions that lingered with our chapter were:  what risks do we need to take?  What will it cost?  What do we need to leave behind?  Where do we need to cast our nets?

The questions weren't quite answered that night.  Maybe for some individuals, but not quite as a whole.  It was exciting, though, to see how the following Sunday's meeting began connecting those loose ends.  By using Tootsie roll candies as a visual for the students on campus that we are called to reach, a couple of our current Servant Team (exec team) leaders gave us a bigger picture and cast the vision for our spring quarter New Student Outreach (NSO) events.

This is it - this is where Jesus is calling us to put out into the deep and let down our nets.  Our RIT chapter needs to invite everyone - friends, professors, students they don't know - to NSO and follow up with them, not just so we could have a lot of people at our events, but so that we could invite them to meet this Jesus who has so transformed our lives.  We need to invite whoever we can because we don't know whom Jesus is inviting to say 'yes' to Him.  If we're expecting a 75% rejection rate, we need to sow more seeds.  We need to cast our nets wide.  We need to go where everything's a lot less familiar, a lot less comfortable, a lot more uncertain of the outcome.  We need to go to the deep.

The next day after the first leadership meeting where we studied the Luke 5 passage, I went to a nearby retreat center to spiritually re-calibrate my vocation with the Lord.  At the midpoint of my retreat when I sat down for lunch, there was a little calendar that had Bible verses and a little devotional thought for each day.  Lo and behold, here's what it said:

Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything.  But because you say so, I will let down the nets."  When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.  --Luke 5:5-6

We're tempted to haul in our nets, grumble, and go home until hearing the invitation, "head to deeper water and see what you can do there."

My, my.  How indeed the Lord calls us personally and communally into deeper water - inviting us to trust Him more and more.

Quarter system blues.

RIT currently works on the quarter system.  That means instead of 2 semesters of 15 weeks of classes, they have 4 quarters (summer is one quarter, so really 3 in a school year) of 10 weeks of classes.  It also means that instead of the typical 4-6 week break for winter between semesters, they only have one week-long break for the holidays.

I was in Ohio with Nathan visiting his family for the holidays, then went to St. Louis for Urbana, and went straight to NYC where I promptly remained sick before returning to Rochester and returning to campus that following week.  Unfortunately, I feel like I've made no progress and picked up right where I left off before the holiday break.

Last year at this time I enjoyed the January break from campus so that I would have some time to focus on planning, processing, and preparing for the second semester and get a head start.  It gave me a break from worrying about the day-to-day campus issues with individual students and the chapter as a whole to realign myself with God's vision and to prepare my heart and my mind to start fresh.

I've lost that break because of RIT's quarter system this year, and I'm feeling some of the consequences.  Things pile up in the blink of an eye, and it's a bit overwhelming.  It's especially disorienting for a person like me who thrives on planning ahead, takes a while to process things, and strives for excellence.

Next year, however, will be a whole different ball game.  Starting this Fall, RIT will be switching to the semester system, which will include the winter break in January.  I am certainly looking forward to it.