Perfection vs. Excellence.

I am a recovering perfectionist.  While everyone, to some extent, desires for control over their whole life, I am definitely one who has a tendency to fight for more of that control than others, or at least get extremely frustrated and disappointed if things don't go the way I picture them.  Combine that with a deep desire to help everyone, please everyone, and a detail-oriented personality who loves to plan events, and I can easily become a mess of a crazy woman.  But after my college experience with God doing a lot of work in my life, I'd say I definitely am in a much better place now.

The week leading up to Vision Night last Friday was definitely a test of that progress, to say the least.  Even with months of planning ahead of time, we still ended up being short-staffed, miscommunicating, and changing things last minute.  And on top of that, I was experiencing other unexpected personal and ministry-related obligations.

There were many times where it would've been easy for me to get frustrated or worry, but I didn't.  And there were some moments where I regrettably gave in to the temptation.  But as I reflect on the night, God definitely met me where I was and reminded me that He was in control:

1. First of all, 122 students showed up from all over the Rochester Area.  We were expecting 100 as a max, though were probably realistically thinking it would be less.  Praise the Lord!
2. Five University of Rochester students came!  For a chapter plant that has been struggling to get students to commit and participate in activities, this was a huge success.  It was a joy to have them join in on what God was doing throughout the Rochester Area.
3. Overall, once the night got started, things went pretty smoothly.  There were no major hiccups or large schedule changes.
4. During one of my anxious moments (that I didn't really have to be anxious about), one of my own students was there to say that everything was going to be okay.  And it was.
5. Working on the poster boards and plans was fun.  It reminded me of how much I love being behind the scenes, developing creative spaces for people to encounter the living God and respond to the love, grace, and mercy God extends to us.  It also reminded me of how much I appreciated the staff workers who did the same for me as a student.

When I thought about this week I was reminded of a text I sent to one of my student leaders just a few weeks ago, which said, "Don't forget, we're striving for excellence, not perfection."  When I thought about the difference between the two, it seemed like it was a very fine line.  So how can I make sure I'm actually striving for excellence and not perfection?

Looking up the definitions of the two words seemed to clarify the differences:

per·fect

  [adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfectgentleman.

2.

excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement: There is no perfect legal code. Theproportions of this temple are almost perfect.

3.

exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose: a perfect actor to play Mr.Micawber; a perfect saw for cutting out keyholes.

4.

entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings: a perfect apple; the perfect crime.

5.

accurate, exact, or correct in every detail: a perfect copy.

ex·cel·lent

  [ek-suh-luhnt]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

possessing outstanding quality or superior merit; remarkably good.

2.

Archaic. extraordinary; superior.

It seems like for perfection, they use words like 'ideal,' 'exact,' 'correct,' and 'flawless.'   There's a mold to fit with rules to abide by, and anything less than that falls short.  With excellence, it seems like you're shooting for 'above average,' and caring more about the quality than working towards exact dimensions.  It seems like for perfection, there's one answer, and one answer only; for excellence, there are many possibilities and room for growth.  With perfection, there's temptation to take extreme control over things out of your control; with excellence, there are opportunities to fail and learn.  There's bondage in perfection; there's freedom in excellence.

With that in mind, I think Vision Night was done excellently - it was an improvement from the year before, and there are ways we can increase the quality for next time.  And hopefully, I'll remember the difference between perfection and excellence in whatever ways I serve the Lord.

It's time to be strong and courageous.

I am not the kind of person you mistakenly label as a 'social butterfly.'  I tend to be quiet.  I usually prefer to process my thoughts inside my brain and be careful about the words I say before they come out of my mouth.  My energy tends to drain easily just by being around a bunch of people I don't know.  It's draining because meeting new people typically requires you to start with small talk, but I don't really care as much about the weather or what you studied or did for work today as I care about wanting to go deeper and learning your hopes, dreams, struggles, and opinions (which doesn't usually happen when you first meet someone).    

So when it comes to New Student Outreach events, where, as a staff worker, I'm trying to model for and mobilize my college students to reach out and talk to other college students who are new to campus and new to our group, you can imagine how difficult it may be for me.  A room full of strangers infested with small talk and the innate social demand for me to process my thoughts quickly so as to avoid awkward silences?  Not an ideal environment for me to thrive in.

But just as God and Moses and the Israelites call Joshua to be strong and courageous over and over and over again, God calls us to be strong and courageous to lead God's people into the kingdom of God.  God's mission is bigger than I or my discomfort could ever be.  

While I could have sat on the sidelines and leave all the mingling up to my students, I've pushed through my fears and discomfort and introduced myself to new people.  I've learned not to wait for the ideal opportunity - I need to ask for strength and courage from the Lord to take every opportunity I get and try to turn each one into the ideal.  I know that if I don't put myself out there to meet new people, then I am either denying myself the opportunity to partner with God in what He is doing in other people, and/or I'm denying other people the opportunity to hear about who Jesus is and why InterVarsity exists on campus.

So as the start of the year has been officially kicked off, I'm sure in addition to meeting new people, other fears and discomforts will surface when it comes to engaging in God's mission on campus or in my neighborhood.  But when it comes time to make a decision about how I will respond, the question I'm going to have to ask myself again and again will be:  am I going to let my fear and discomfort dictate my behavior, or will my faith in God's love and mission define the decisions on how I live my life?  

Nom nom nom com.

It was the middle of my sophomore year when InterVarsity's Nomination Committee (Nom Com) invited me to serve on our Binghamton chapter's Exec Board as the Administrator for the 2009 calendar year.  I almost thought they were crazy.  Me?  Serve on E-board?  I saw my sister serve on E-board and knew how intense and how much commitment it would be to serve on the team, considering they had meetings that lasted two hours every week and got together for days on end to plan during the winter break.  And Administrator?  Really?  I didn't even know what the Administrator did.

It was risky for me.  I came into college as a very burnt out freshman; I had a track record of not being able to say no to anything, and served or led in everything I wanted to do or felt like I should do and didn't know how to rest well.  I was tired of leading and was wary of jumping back in.

At the same time, I didn't feel like I was qualified - I didn't know what was expected of me, I didn't know what my role would look like, I didn't know if I could live up to it all.  But I soon found out that being a leader in InterVarsity was a matter of saying 'yes' to Jesus and being humbly open to learn whatever Jesus wanted to teach me.

It's been 3 years since I've served my last term on E-board, and I am where I am because I chose to say 'yes' to Jesus at that time.  My leadership, visions and decisions in life are all influenced by my experience serving on E-board.  It was a hard but refining process that allowed me to fall on my face, get back up, sacrifice everything I knew, and take risks beyond my understanding, but it is an experience that drew me into a deeper dependence on God and opened my eyes to ways I was blind, and I believe that it was worth it all.

Now, as a staff worker sitting on the other side of the leader selection process, I'm excited to see what God will do in the lives of these students who are willing to say 'yes' to Him.  It's exciting because what it boils down to is not simply what abilities, vision capacity, or leadership skills they have that qualifies them for leadership.  It's exciting because leadership is about how much these students are willing to learn and sacrifice in order to follow Jesus, serve and love like Jesus, and empower others for mission like Jesus.   

And it's particularly exciting for me because Jesus invites me to be a part of the process of what He's doing in and through them.