Who will go? Who will go?

"I'm too busy."
"I need to step down from leadership."
"I don't have time."
"She has a crazy packed semester."
"I broke down twice this week because I'm so stressed."

These are just a few of the phrases I've heard way too many times in way too many different forms this semester.

Now, I understand that even the hardest-working, most organized folks can have a lot on their plate.  Believe me, as a recovering perfectionist who is often tempted to place her worth in what she produces instead of God, I know what it's like.  Of course, I definitely value and support students being diligent in their academics and well-rounded in their activities outside of school as well.  In fact, I believe because God is Lord over all creation and made us in His image as humans who create, build, analyze, and imagine, we should be impelled to learn about His creation and His work as much as possible.

At the same time, the fact that so many students say this worries me.  One reason is because even though all of the above phrases seem similar, they can actually be interpreted in a few different ways:

A) "I don't know how to manage my time well, and so I actually end up wasting a lot of it and try to get by with doing the minimum."

B) "I am saying yes to everything and have taken on more commitments than is humanly possible."

C) "I don't know how to work diligently and then trust the Lord as I rest," or, "I don't make resting as a priority."

D)  "I actually just don't like the changes that have been made or InterVarsity just doesn't meet my needs anymore, so I just don't want to come anymore but don't want to say that directly to your face in case it hurts your feelings."

Or, it could actually indicate that this student really does have a significant amount of work that even if you cut everything unnecessary out, would still take up a lot of time.  But it's hard to differentiate between these students and the ones listed above, because they can all be expressed the same way.

The other reason why this worries me is because the resulting consequences often means two things:

1) All of the students who are committed to serving, manage their time well, and don't over-commit end up getting burnt out because now they're taking on what others do not step in to do.

2) It's usually an indicator that students are more focused on structures, tasks, and their own wants that they have lost sight of the vision and/or lost sight of who God is and what His purposes in the world are.

I believe these are two seemingly innocent but dangerous things that the Enemy uses to paralyze students from participating in the great work God is doing on campus.

Right now, less than 1% of RIT's campus is being reached by all of the Christian groups combined.  That means there are still thousands of RIT students who potentially have not heard the good news Jesus brings.  The question that keeps popping into my head is, if the Christ-following students will not go, who will?

Weeping for RIT.

My Servant Leaders (the student exec team) and I have taken on the practice of spending 15 minutes of our weekly meeting to study and discuss a Bible passage.

As you can imagine, 15 minutes is not a lot of time to study a Bible passage.

To combat that a little bit, I've asked the leadership team to spend the entire week prior to the meeting in that passage during their quiet times with Jesus.  They can study it however they want.  They're encouraged to pray through whatever comes to the surface for them.  They're expected to come to our meeting having spent much more time with this Word on their own than we're able to do so together, armed and ready to share what came up for them during the week.

We're going through the book of Nehemiah, and this past week we went over the first chapter, where Nehemiah hears about the tragic state of condition of Jerusalem and Judah:  "The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame.  The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire" (Nehemiah 1:3, ESV).

Like I said, 15 minutes is not a lot of time to study the many layers of scripture we could unpack.

So we focused on one point - how Nehemiah responded to the news.  Here's what we found:

He immediately wept and mourned for days.  Nehemiah must have cared deeply enough about Jerusalem and his people that it brought such grief into his heart, as one would if someone very close and dear to them had passed away.

He fasted and prayed.  Nehemiah is brought to his knees, but not only that, he does not pray a prayer of, "Please help and deliver them, Lord!" or, "Why must my people go through this suffering?".  Instead, he interestingly prays a prayer of confession.

He identifies with the good and the bad of his people.  Not only does Nehemiah pray a prayer of confession (weird), but he identifies with his people in their sins!  "We have sinned against you," Nehemiah 1:6b says.  "Even I and my father's house have sinned."  He doesn't try to put the blame on anyone else.  He doesn't distance himself from his confession; even though he seems like he has the right not to involve himself.

He wasn't physically there.  This was in response to news that someone had brought to him from afar - he hadn't even seen the state of his community with his own eyes.  Either Nehemiah was super touchy-feely and sensitive, or he cared so deeply and identified so deeply with his community that he was moved deeply by this tragic news, even though he was miles away from the desolation itself.   

As we discussed these observations in our mere few minutes, one question kept coming to mind:

Why don't we respond to the brokenness on RIT's campus the way Nehemiah responds to Jerusalem's brokenness? 

It was a question I posed to the Servant Leadership team.  I asked them to imagine if they had gotten some news from someone during the winter break that RIT's campus was in shambles, would they react the way Nehemiah did, in weeping and mourning and praying prayers of confession on behalf of the sins we as a community committed?  Definitely not, we all agreed, myself included.

But why not? I wonder.  And what would it take for us to get to a point where we did identify and care so deeply with the RIT community that we wouldn't hesitate to respond to and lead out of the spiritual shambles we face everyday?

Ambition is the name of the InterVarisity conference Nathan is currently attending in Florida.  It's for both staff and students who desire to learn more about planting ministries.  I'm kind of bummed I decided not to go, but I figured it's probably also good that I'm not traveling anymore after the craziness of this last month.

But I'm still very excited for Nathan and all of my other friends and colleagues who are attending.  I'm praying and hoping that God will peel away any distractions and soften any hardened hearts so that they can be ready to receive a Word from Him.  I'm hoping it'll instill a renewed fervor to reach the lost and participate in the work God has invited them into.  I'm praying that the speakers, conversations, seminars, and environment will be helpful and significant for moving God's mission forward.  I'm hoping God will bless them with courage despite fears or hesitations they may have about the planting work God is sending them to.

While I'm here back in Rochester, I've been thinking about my own 'ambitions' in this ministry.    

ambition

noun

1.

an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor,  fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment:

Too much ambition caused him to be disliked by his colleagues.

2.

the object, state, or result desired or sought after:

The crown was his ambition.

3.

desire for work or activity; energy:

I awoke feeling tired and utterly lacking in ambition.

What am I striving for?  Yeah, I can quote InterVarsity's vision statement in my sleep, and I know the components of our purpose statement.  I know it all in my head.  But is it truly what I'm seeking after?  What does that look like?

When I think about it, I think it's easy for me to get caught up in the circumstances.  I'll start off with good intentions to participate in the work God has called me to, and then when things don't go the way I expect them to, or I don't know what to do, I start striving towards getting back to solid ground or even just getting the minimum done to survive the day.

Nathan and I have been going through Joshua in our personal studies.  These verses have been weighing on me:

Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave you or forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them.

It's helpful to be reminded of God's presence and his exhortation of courage out of the confidence that God does not turn back on His promises.  It reminds me that God has definitely called me to this ministry at this time, and He does not turn back on His promise to be with me in answering this call.

I pray for and with my friends and colleagues at Ambition for the very same strength, courage, and presence as we encounter the Lord in these next few days and as they return with all that God has given them to bless others.