Confessions of a staff worker.

Honestly, I don't really like meeting new people.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I like people.  I love having good conversations and getting to know an individual's hopes, dreams, and learning about what makes them tick.

It's the approach and carrying on the conversation I often have issues with.

I don't like inserting myself into people's time and space.  I want to leave people well enough alone.  And I am perfectly content with being around a lot of wandering people without feeling the need to interact with them.  I don't want to be an interruption or burden or source of awkwardness for anyone.

Speaking of awkwardness, my fear of awkwardness is what tests my ability to sustain a conversation with someone.  I'm afraid we won't have anything in common for me to jump start our interaction, or that something I say will make the other person feel uncomfortable or trapped.  I'm afraid I won't know what question to ask next or what to do if the other person answers too briefly.

Also, I just want people to like me.  Who doesn't want people to like them?

That's what makes New Student Outreach (NSO) events so intimidating and draining for me.  I'd much rather just set up shop and wait for people to approach me.  Be there for people when they call.

But that's not how Jesus loved people.  He didn't stay in one place and wait for people to come to him - he left all that was comfortable and familiar and went to them.  He moved past potentially awkward situations.  He wasn't afraid to go deep really fast.  He crossed cultural boundaries.  He didn't lose focus from His purpose.  He boldly challenged others.  He invited people to join Him.  It was all worth it, to Him.  People in need are worth it to Him.  

So when NSO comes around, I work hard to step up and introduce myself to people despite my fears and discomfort.  I ask the Holy Spirit for courage.  I try really hard to be assertive but genuine at the same time.  I am reminded that not all of my attempts will bear fruit.  Rejection and failure should be expected.  But that doesn't mean I should let it paralyze me.

Meeting new students is not something that comes naturally to me, despite what some of my students may think.  It is something I discipline myself to do for the sake of the gospel.  God's love for me gives me the capacity to love others - even strangers.

It is tempting to be lazy or leave it to the "socially gifted" and "extroverts" of the group around me.  But we are all called to love God and love others, and that means we are all called to seek out the needs of others and to meet them where they are.

When it comes to loving people, Jesus always said, 'Go and do.'  When did he ever say, 'Sit and wait'?